It’s the “Hot Girl Summer” Updated: Welcome to Self-Care Summer
Here in Toronto, the temperature is finally starting to rise after an unusually cool and rainy May. As the days get longer and people flock to outdoor patios, I’ve been reflecting on the phrase “Hot Girl Summer” - the viral expression that encouraged people (especially women) to embrace confidence, fun, and freedom, without worrying too much about what others think.
There’s something empowering about the original spirit of Hot Girl Summer. It’s a celebration of joy, self-expression, and living unapologetically. But over time, I’ve come to realize that not everyone resonates with this version of summer - especially those of us who might be in a different season of life. Maybe you’re navigating parenting, burnout, caregiving, emotional healing, or just craving a quieter kind of joy.
So this year, I’m proposing an update. Let’s call it Self-Care Summer.
A Slower, More Intentional Season
For many of us, summer offers a natural pause - a time when school winds down, extracurriculars go on hiatus, and some workplaces ease their pace. But instead of leaning into this spaciousness, we often rush to fill it. We fall into the productivity trap of believing that we need to be continuously doing or achieving. Summer quickly becomes packed with home renovations, back-to-back trips, endless camps for our children, and new commitments. We may tell ourselves we’re making the most of the season, but often we’re left feeling just as exhausted (if not more) than before.
Self-Care Summer is about choosing differently.
What if we were to embrace the natural ebbs and flows of life and give ourselves permission to not be constantly doing? What if we could tune into our actual needs - not what looks good on social media, not what others expect, not what we think we should be doing to not ‘waste’ the summer, but what feels truly restorative to us. Whether that’s reading on a shaded porch, taking a solo walk, spending time with people who make us feel safe and seen, or simply saying no more often, these small shifts are meaningful.
What Self-Care Really Means
Self-care has become a bit of a buzzword, often associated with bubble baths and spa days. And while those things can be lovely, real self-care often looks a lot more grounded, and sometimes feels more uncomfortable. It might involve:
Setting boundaries with people or obligations that drain you
Prioritizing sleep, movement, and nourishment
Saying no to one more social event or extra project so you can rest
Checking in with your emotional world through journaling or therapy
Creating moments of genuine connection with your partner, children, or friends
Making space for grief, uncertainty, or whatever feelings are present
In other words, self-care is not always glamorous. But it can be extremely powerful.
A Personal Note
As someone who works closely with people navigating burnout, low self-worth, and relationship stress, I know how easy it is to lose yourself in the demands of daily life. The summer slowdown can offer a unique opportunity to pause and listen. It’s a wonderful chance to ask yourself: What do I need right now? What would help me feel more grounded, more whole, more me?
You don’t need to overhaul your life. Even small, intentional choices can shift your internal experience in profound ways.
This Summer, Try This:
Protect some unstructured time each week and resist the urge to fill it.
Choose one nourishing activity you can repeat regularly (a morning walk, evening journaling, sitting quietly with your coffee, pickleball with friends).
Reflect on what boundaries you can reinforce to protect your energy.
Celebrate your rest as something valuable. Rest is not lazy, not indulgent, but vital.
Let’s allow this summer to be a time of listening to and coming home to ourselves.
So, if you’re feeling like “Hot Girl Summer” doesn’t quite capture the season you’re in, you’re not alone. Join me in making space for Self-Care Summer — a season of reflection, restoration, and reconnection.
If this resonates with you and you’re finding it hard to slow down or prioritize yourself, therapy can be a supportive place to explore these patterns. Reach out if you would like help with self-care this season and beyond.
